Remember when I wanted nothing to do with You? There was a time in my life when I thought if there really was a God then the definition would read something like, “Creator and Ruler of the Universe with a vengeance for…” Somehow, not sure why, my name was listed first and foremost directly after the ellipses.
I blamed You God. You had it in for me. So I thought. For so many years. For so many reasons. I just didn’t get You. It started with me never understanding why Daddy had to leave. Why did he have to die? Didn’t You know how much I needed him? Didn’t you know the teasing voices would one day become so much louder, in my head, and shape how I saw myself? Didn’t You know, that without Daddy’s positive affirmations, I would be left scarred, and this time, internally?
Didn’t You care?
You know it took me a long time to heal. I spent years trying to process why. Why, if God is so good, would He ever do this to me? Why would God allow such a little girl to experience so much pain, grief and trauma? What kind of God would ever think this was a good plan?
Today, it’s different though. I am so grateful for Who You are in my life. I want to thank You. Thank You God for allowing me to have at least eight years with my Dad. I am grateful that I had him during my most formidable years. Thank You for giving me the opportunity to know a father’s love. An unconditional father’s love. Both Daddy and Yours.
I still don’t understand ‘the why’s” but it no longer matters.
Oh God, there is so much I want to say. But then again, You already know.
I know some day I will see Daddy again in Heaven and then I can thank him for loving me the way that he did. In the meantime, could You let him know.
I love you so much God that somedays all I can do is just cry.
Your daughter forever,
Hey There! I'm Liz
Founder of Ezra728 with a purpose of creating inspiring messages to strengthen and encourage primarily us gals across the globe. Guys, don't fret. You are definitely welcome, too.