Dear God,
Remember when I wanted nothing to do with You?  There was a time in my life when I thought if there really was a God then the definition would read something like, “Creator and Ruler of the Universe with a vengeance for…”   Somehow, not sure why, my name was listed first and foremost directly after the ellipses.   

I blamed You God.   You had it in for me.   So I thought.  For so many years.   For so many reasons.   I just didn’t get You.   It started with me never understanding why Daddy had to leave.   Why did he have to die?  Didn’t You know how much I needed him?  Didn’t you know the teasing voices would one day become so much louder, in my head, and shape how I saw myself?   Didn’t You know, that without Daddy’s positive affirmations,  I would be left scarred, and this time, internally?  

Didn’t You care? 

You know it took me a long time to heal.  I spent years trying to process why.  Why, if God is so good, would He ever do this to me?  Why would God allow such a little girl to experience so much pain, grief and trauma?  What kind of God would ever think this was a good plan? 

Today, it’s different though.  I am so grateful for Who You are in my life.   I want to thank You.   Thank You God for allowing me to have at least eight years with my Dad.   I am grateful that I had him during my most formidable years.  Thank You for giving me the opportunity to know a father’s love.  An unconditional father’s love.  Both Daddy and Yours. 

I still don’t understand ‘the why’s” but it no longer matters.

Oh God, there is so much I want to say.   But then again, You already know.  

I know some day I will see Daddy again in Heaven and then I can thank him for loving me the way that he did.   In the meantime, could You let him know.  

I love you so much God that somedays all I can do is just cry. 

Your daughter forever,
Liz
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Dear Daddy, 
I imagine the day I was born.   The doctor comes out of the delivery room to hand you me.  As you take me, the first words I hear spoken from you are words of affirmation, seemingly uttered oh, so, naturally.  As you speak to me, the doctor speaks, too.   Your little girl has been born with a birth defect.  Cleft lip and palate is what it is termed.  But don’t worry, Daddy, we will gather a team of specialist and will make her look as normal as possible.  As the doctor continues to speak, you look at me, tears are rolling down your face, because you are so enamored with your little girl, as if you never heard the words spoken by the doctor.

As the years go on, I grow to fall so deeply in love with you, and you me.  Thank you, Daddy,  for loving me the way you did.  I was your princess and you were my king.

I always wondered if you ever knew how much I needed you.   How much I needed those daily positive declarations reminding me of who I was in your eyes.   Oh, how I needed those looks of endearing love coming from you, my father.  

Daddy, around you,  I never felt anything but normal.  But all that came to an abrupt halt the day you were murdered.   

Daddy, you made the newspaper.  Day after day.  A news reporter said and I quote, “They are too young to realize the enormity of their tragedy.”    He was talking about me and Pete and Toni.   Daddy, I always wondered if that guy really understood the significance of his statement.   I doubt it.  But I did.  

The thought of losing you still brings tears to my eyes even today.  Oh, Daddy, I will love you forever.  Forever and ever.  I cannot wait to see you again ❤️❤️❤️  

Your daughter forever,
Lizzy

​As I penned this letter to my Daddy, fifty-one years have passed since his brutal, senseless, unsolved murder.   It took me a very long time, but I have finally made peace with it.  There is still an ache.  I really doubt it will ever go away, until I am in Heaven, until I am in his arms yet again. 
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Some time ago, I wrote a letter to my Dad.  I never finished it until, one day, I finally picked it back up and completed it.   Then I wrote another letter and another.  When I first started writing the letters I didn’t realize it would be part of a series of letters, yet, here we are.  Welcome to ‘The Letter Series”.

​To live in the world and to make it,
First you must see yourself.
The reflection in a mirror must be known by you.
Then you can learn to love others
And they will be in your life forever
Whoever they may be!
Life starts with you and ends with you.
We live as we dream ——— alone…

So, many of you are thinking, friend, hmm, is this a letter?  

As I thought about how to open this series, the composition (above) came to mind, and correct, it’s not a letter.  I had just turned sixteen when I wrote the composition as an assignment.  I have carried it with me for well over forty years.   This is how I felt for the longest.  Every. Single. Day.  Alone.  This was my internal truth.  

Until it wasn’t.  

Until I found me.  The person God intended me to be.  

Today, I’d like to invite you on yet another journey, inspired by years of a messy diary of sorts, on the passage to wholeness.    Again, welcome to “The Letter Series.”

Let’s pray.

Father,
I thank You for Who You are.  I thank You that Your wrap-around Presence allows me to know I am safe with You.   Bless all those who journey through this series.  Speak to them as only You can do.    We are the clay in Your hands.  Mold us.  Make us.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Until next week,
Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM,
Liz

Father,
I want to achieve my purpose as You intended.   I really do.  I ask that You place people in my path who can help me to reach my full potential.  Surround me with those who can coach and motivate me.  Stretch me.  And if I must I will do it afraid.   I thank You and praise You in advance. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

Did you know birds are trained by their parents through what is called the power of reinforcement?  I didn’t until recently.   See, their main source of motivation is food.  The babies need food to survive.  Initially, the baby knows nothing more than the regular feeding intervals done by the Mom.  The Mom will come and drop some food off in their mouth.  After some time, when she feels they are ready, she will begin to stand farther and farther away forcing the baby to come to get the food.  That’s how it learns to venture out on the branch.   This is a repetitive process. 

​I also learned that some birds develop into strong fliers and become independent all within a couple of weeks.  It takes motivation by the parents, and so much more, to help the babies reach their full potential.  

As I watched the brood of young grow, and eventually leave the nest, I couldn’t help but think about their purpose and how it came about.    Day by day they were stretched to go a little further until one day they had gained the confidence to soar.   If they had failed to stretch they may not have fulfilled all of their purpose.

I believe the same is true for you and me.  If we fail to stretch, we may not fulfill all of our purpose.  

Stretch on purpose 💜

Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM!

As I watched the new found feathered family, nested in the tree, I noticed for the first few days the Momma was always there watching over her brood of young.   But after that, more times than not, she was nowhere to be found!  What I didn’t realize was that this was intentional.

​In order for them to survive on their own the Momma has to leave them be.   This is the process.  In order for the babies to spread their wings and soar they have to be nudged into it.  Nurtured and then expected to go and fulfill their purpose.

This is the way God designed it for the birds.  

When I think about it, life has a funny way of preparing us for purpose, too.    

I say that because like the brood of young, as we progress through life, God is continually preparing us for purpose.   It is God’s design.  Sometimes our purpose is not readily apparent.  There are times where we might feel awkward while operating in it.  We may, from time to time, feel as if we aren’t even capable.   I most certainly do.  There are times when it feels like God is nowhere to be found.

But rest assured, there comes a moment in time, when you will know that much of your life has been in preparation for your purpose.   

Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM!

Early one Monday morning, as I opened the shades, I saw a brood of young.  Momma bird had given birth in the nest she had made in the tree directly outside my dining room window. 

​Every day, numerous times throughout the day, I checked on the new found family.  

When the babies were just about a week old, as they were eating from the momma’s mouth, they began to spread their wings while eating.   In fact, fiercely.   My husband said they were using their wings to push one another out of the way.   Could this be the beginnings of sibling rivalry?  Who knows!  What I do know is as they were being nourished it caused them to begin to develop and exercise what they needed, wings, to fulfill their destiny. 

Over time, with practice, the babies flight feathers develop.  Get this.  Some might even fall to the ground while learning how to fly.   It’s a clumsy process.   But over time, their wings strengthen, and they do what they are destined to do: Spread their wings and soar. 

When the babies are born, they have no idea, that each day is preparing them to do what they are called to do.  Each day is designed for purpose.  Specifically, for every one of the birds, the day comes when they must leave the nest and fly.

Hmmm.  That’s how it is for us, too.  

Each of us is born with a purpose.   Our journey through life is preparing us for it.  God doesn’t reveal the sheer magnitude of our purpose in the beginning.   He doesn’t reveal all the details of what it will take to fulfill it.   So, there is no trailer.   You don’t get a preview of what you may go through, what it may cost you personally, to achieve it.  

So, we live trusting each day is preparation to bring us closer to our destiny.  Branching out in faith.  Trusting in God. 

Because just like the brood of young, there comes comes a day where we will spread our wings and soar.

Father, Help me to remember that You are continually directing my steps and drawing me closer to my destiny.   In Jesus Name, Amen.

Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM!

When life is not going the way you planned…  When the unexpected has happened…  AGAIN!  When you are not sure how things are going to work out…  When you are furious at what life is throwing your way…  

Remember these Words from God to you:  
As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand…Jeremiah 18:6

A word of encouragement from me to you:  God’s got this 🙌🏽  (whatever ‘this’ is for you.)  

Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM!

Father, 
As I pen this I have just had yet another surgery in a quest to regain my hearing again.  I most certainly don’t understand why me?  I was hearing great and then I wasn’t.   Then I find out there has been a recall.  Really, LORD?

​This is the beginnings of a personal prayer I penned to God.  On this day (the day I wrote it), I didn’t want to talk about my hopes and dreams.  Well, yes,  I sort of did.  I wanted God to know how disappointed and frustrated I was because things were not working out the way I had hoped.  The way I had prayed.  The way I had believed.  I was struggling with anger and frustration and…you get the picture.  

So, after I voiced my frustration and disappointments and all that I was struggling with kinda’ stuff, I concluded with this.

… But as I walked through this period, yet again, of near deafening silence, I made a decision.  I made a decision based on what I know about You.  I know that You are good.  I know that You are orchestrating my life.  I know that every day is purposefully preparing me for my destiny.  It may not look like it at all.  But I will keep my eyes on You.  I choose to live my life knowing every day is full of purpose.  Every day I am moving closer and closer to destiny.  Help me, Father, when my mind begins to go awry.  I thank you and praise you and love you.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

So, although I started off voicing my discontent, I ended up acknowledging Who God is in my life.  I ended up putting my faith in Him.  I recognized ‘things’ may be uncertain but God is not.  I can trust Him with my life.  

You know, there was a time when I believed faith was never admitting my frustrations, fears, and disappointments.  I believed that if I expressed them, especially in prayer, then I doubted God.  I doubted His sovereignty.  So not true.  Today, I know better.  Today, I talk through it all with the One I can trust with it all. 

My hope for me, and you, is that as we journey through 2021, we will be more transparent with God.   After all, there is nothing in our hearts that He doesn’t already know.  💜

Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM!

2020.  What a year!  Can I get a recall?  Just kidding.  Hmmm. Maybe not. 🤔

I was thinking about the 2020 year.   This is how I summed it up.

To me, it felt like I was playing cards.  I was just dealt a hand that I did not want but I couldn’t change.   I had a choice to make.  Do I fold and give in?  Do I quit? Do I throw a tantrum and start throwing my cards all over the place?  Y’all know people like that, too 🤣 Or do I play and make the best of it?

Like cards, throughout the 2020 year, I did have choices to make.  But unlike cards, my choices had nothing to do with chance.    One choice I made, and still am making, is to remain persistent. 

Purposeful.  Purposefully doing what I need to do to stay fit physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.   Like keeping a healthy, daily morning routine.   Most days ☺️.   Or like doing my hair 🙅🏽‍♀️ as if I am going somewhere.  

2020 was a year of the unforeseen.  Again, I say, what a year!  But, guess what family?   We made it through.  👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽   Yes, nevertheless, we endured. 

Happy New Year 2021! 🥳💜😷

​I pray you continue to be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM throughout 2021,
Liz 
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