“At this point you are not expected to hear much.” “It’s okay if you don’t hear many of the sentences.” “Just do the best that you can.” These were the words spoken to me by the audiologist as she crouched down to look me right in my face.
She might have thought I didn’t hear her words mixed with caution and low expectations because I continued to smile as I walked the worn path to enter ‘the black box’.
I had walked this road for so many years it had become deafening. Each turn on this hearing journey seemed to lead to roads of despair and discouragement. There were no longer any more right turns available for me or so it seemed. I thought they had all been taken. The last right hand turn taken - a silencing dead end. The streets traveled seemed to have arrows reflecting one way and it looked like there was no way back to sound. That’s where I had been trying to go. The land of sound. In the past, when I looked at the map, I saw a few left turns remaining but the window of opportunity on the left side was slowly fading. I had stared down the mountain of isolation. The journey tried wreaking havoc on my mental state. I, personally, was running out of gas. The stores I frequented closed due to abandonment. I didn’t know how much longer I could continue on this journey. I needed rest.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to ME. Get away with ME and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with ME and work with ME - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with ME and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. Matthew 11:28 MSG
And that is why I smiled as I walked to take yet another hearing test in the confines of ‘the black box’. I was at rest. I no longer was bound by the physical. It was in the day to day with Jesus the burden of deafness was lifted and I was free. I declared I would continue to do God’s will whether in silence or sound. Everyday with HIM.
And the results? Yes, they are in. The audiologist reminds me that my benchmark is set at zero. Yes, prior to right ear implant surgery I heard nada. Zilch. Nothing. I am now able to hear and repeat back 77% of the sentences using just my right ear.
You know what? I honestly don’t remember most of what was said after the hearing results were given. It’s not because I couldn’t hear her but because at this point I was beside myself. My heart overcome and swollen with thanks and praise. My foot had begun to tap and my mind started to race. Who will I call first? Who will I tell?
As I stepped onto the elevator a nurse manager, that’s what her tag said, greeted me and asked how my day was going. Well, why did she do that. My response was probably way more than she ever expected. Poor woman. For she was the first person I had an opportunity to tell. She was so inspired that she raised her arm in order to extend out her open hand and I then did the same as we celebrated with a high five. I think I skipped off the elevator (at least it felt that way).
All in all, I am so grateful for my healing. I truly believe that in my day to day with Jesus I have experienced the unforced rhythms of grace. I pray that you will, too.
Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM,
Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on HIM, for HE cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. 1 Peter 5:7 AMPC
Cast your burden on the LORD [releasing the weight of it] and HE will sustain you; HE will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail). Psalm 55:22 AMPC