As I lay in bed my eyes dripped with tears drenching my pillow. I’m trembling. I can’t stop. The tears are raw and I am bursting with emotions. I just can’t stop crying. Once the first tear broke free the rest followed in an uncontrollable manner. On this particular summer morning, I awoke again in tears. I am blubbering and all I can do is cry out words that barely can be understood. I so want to hear. I am tired of living life like this. I want to be able to hear clearly and precisely. With many and with a few. I want to be able to join in on healthy conversations with my family. I want to be able to go to conferences and enjoy the teachings…the camaraderie… make connections…friendships… I want to be part of a women’s group again and be able to engage in the dialog. I want to be able to participate in training whether audio or video with captions or without.
In between each sentence I am desperately trying to catch my breath to gain my composure. I look up to the ceiling and with salty tears still streaming down my face I end by saying, “Yes, I know LORD. I want so much.” And the release continues.
And on this day the LORD sent Daniel. Hope in a guy named Daniel. See, later that same day my husband and I went to a neighborhood meeting and sitting a few rows in front of us was a guy with not one but two cochlear implants. I watched with amazement at how he was interacting with everyone around him. Those beside him, both left and right. Those in front of him and those in back of him. Even those further down the aisle. I couldn’t believe it.
The whole time we were in this meeting I knew I had to talk with him. And when the meeting was over I did. He had just received his implants almost a year ago and he could hear at over 90%. Before implants he could only hear at roughly 15%.
I knew the LORD set this divine appointment up on this day. Just so HE could let me know it’s okay to cry and HE hears me. And HE gives us hope just when we need it.
So, today, maybe you aren’t feeling paralyzed socially by deafness as I was. Maybe you are feeling paralyzed by something else. Some loss. Some seemingly catastrophic event. Some hurt. Whatever you may be going through or experiencing I am hear to tell you that it is okay to cry. Cry out to God that is. After all, Jesus did. Strong crying and tears, I might add.
Be Strengthened and Encouraged in HIM,
In the days of HIS flesh [Jesus] offered up definite, special petitions [for that which HE not only wanted but needed] and supplications with strong crying and tears to HIM WHO was [always] able to save HIM (out) from death, and HE was heard because of HIS reverence toward God [HIS godly fear, piety, in that HE shrank from the horrors of separation from the bright Presence of the Father]. Hebrews 5:7 AMP